Crossroads, Jesus, live free, Love, Recovery, Robert Maxie

Now I See

By Robert Maxie sr

Step 2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

You said, ‘Listen and I will speak!I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.’I had only heard about you before,but now I have seen you with my own eyes. Job 42: 4-5

Job 14:1 says “How frail is humanity! How short is life, how full of trouble?” How true is this statement? Sometime it is hard to hear the terrible things that go on in this world. It can be incredibly sad to watch my brothers and sisters suffer so much pain. I find it hard to watch the news and see so much death and destruction, it is a wonder why so many people use drugs to escape. We go through so much pain that I could understand Job’s questions to God. Matter of fact I have asked the same questions myself. Job was going through the worst time of his life. He felt that he did not deserve what was happening to him and that caused him to question Gods ability to run the universe.

We may not understand our addictions but what we can take faith in is that God loves us. He created us in his image and if I am to be restored, it will be through his word. He is our higher power not a door knob, my job or my wife! These thing can motivate me to get better but they cannot free me. Only when you come to the end of yourself and have done everything you know how, will you fall into the arms of a loving God. I have seen runners in marathons collapse and need help getting off the track. These athletes put all their trust in the person that is carrying them, they can’t go anymore and nor do they want to, they just want to be safe. In essence they are saying help me, I have nothing left. Will you allow God to carry you? Will you give him your addiction? What is holding you back from selling out to him, a job, the job does not matter, you will lose it anyway. Is your family holding you back, because the addiction will take them also? Addiction is a progressive disease meaning it does not stop until everything is gone and you are dead.

I just want to be depended on him. I can’t depend on myself any longer. I lied to others and mostly to myself. Finding God was the best thing that happened to me and I have learned to appreciate the addiction because it made me close to him and his love. I learned, that I needed to give more of myself, to get more of him because the areas of my life that I kept from him is where the addiction continued to thrive. Think about it….what have you not surrendered?

Job says “now I see you for myself!” How do you see your relationship with God? Jacob’s relationship with God depended on his family’s understanding of God. At one time he was the God of Abraham, and then it was the God of Abraham and Isaac, but only after a struggle did Jacob find God for himself.

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